“My daughter is fourteen – can she decide where she lives?” We hear a version of this question weekly in our Roanoke and Salem custody practice. The short answer: Virginia has no magic age at which a child chooses. The longer answer is more useful.
What the Law Actually Says
Among Virginia’s best-interests factors, courts must consider “the reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of reasonable intelligence, understanding, age and experience to express such a preference.” Preference is one factor among many – never a controlling vote.
How Age Changes the Weight
- Young children: preferences carry little weight and are rarely solicited.
- Preteens: courts may listen, particularly to the reasons behind the preference.
- Teenagers: a mature teen’s well-reasoned preference carries real weight – judges know that ordering an unwilling sixteen-year-old anywhere is a losing proposition. But even a teen’s preference yields when the reasons are shallow (“no rules at Dad’s house”) or the chosen home is unstable.
How Children Express a Preference
Virginia judges rarely put children on the witness stand in open court. More common routes: an in-chambers interview with the judge, or the voice of a guardian ad litem – an attorney appointed to represent the child’s interests who interviews the child, both parents, teachers, and counselors, then reports to the court. In contested Roanoke Valley custody cases, the guardian ad litem’s recommendation is often the single most influential piece of the file.
A Warning About Campaigning
Nothing damages a custody case faster than evidence a parent coached or pressured a child’s preference. Judges and guardians ad litem are practiced at spotting rehearsed lines. Let the relationship speak for itself – the parent who quietly keeps showing up usually fares better than the one running a campaign.
Talk to a Custody Lawyer in Roanoke or Salem, VA
Advocate Law, PLLC helps families throughout Roanoke, Salem, and the surrounding valley with custody, divorce, and family law matters. Call (540) 343-9800 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.