It is one of the most common questions we hear from parents in Roanoke and Salem, and it comes from both sides. Fathers worry they start at a disadvantage. Mothers sometimes assume they start ahead. Under Virginia law, neither is true.
What the Law Actually Says
Virginia Code § 20-124.2 provides that there is no presumption or inference of law in favor of either parent. The old tender years idea, that young children belong with their mothers, is no longer the law. A judge must decide custody based on the child’s best interests and is directed to assure children frequent and continuing contact with both parents when appropriate.
Why the Perception Persists
One of the best-interests factors is the role each parent has played, and will play, in the child’s upbringing and care. In many families one parent has handled more of the day-to-day work – the doctor visits, homework, and morning routines. When that parent is the mother, the result can look like a preference for mothers. It is really a preference for demonstrated caregiving, and it applies the same way to fathers.
What Judges Look At
- The age and needs of the child and each parent’s ability to meet them.
- The relationship between each parent and the child.
- Each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent.
- Any history of family abuse.
- The reasonable preference of a child who is old enough to express one.
Our overview of how child custody is decided in Virginia covers the full list.
What This Means for Fathers
Involvement is evidence. Attend the school conferences and medical appointments. Know the teachers, the pediatrician, and the bedtime routine. Keep a calendar of your parenting time. We explain more in your rights as a father in Virginia.
What This Means for Mothers
Do not rely on an assumption the law does not make. Document your caregiving, support your child’s time with the other parent, and prepare your case as carefully as if the outcome were uncertain – because it is.
Talk to a Custody Lawyer in Roanoke or Salem, VA
Advocate Law, PLLC helps families throughout Roanoke, Salem, and the surrounding valley with custody, divorce, and family law matters. Call (540) 343-9800 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.